

Our Deepest Desire
The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding a pearl of great value,
went and sold all that he had and bought it.
(Matthew 13:45)
The Upanishads tell us to desire Truth like a drowning man desires a breath of air. If we do not intensely desire spiritual growth, we are unlikely to get to the place where we would all like to be. We have to desire union with Divine Consciousness above all else or it is unlikely to happen. This deep desire is necessary to keep us on a spiritual path with many trials and temptations to quit. Our egoic minds will do anything to derail us from our path in order to remain in the driver’s seat of our lives. Our egoic mind is only interested in living in comfort and security, and any authentic spiritual path will include experiences of deep peace and deep turmoil. The egoic mind is the voice of limitation that may try to get us to skip a day of meditation, end it early or give it up altogether. All of our limitations exist in the mind, and they are not real unless we make them so. Realizing our Divine nature requires learning to ignore the mind and all of the limiting thoughts that arise.
As we surrender deeply in meditation, we start to become aware of our higher self, our true self that is able to watch our thoughts from a place of detachment. In this detached state, we become aware that we are not our minds, and we are not our bodies. Our egoic mind becomes extremely threatened by this realization and fights for survival. Our mind makes us believe that we are dying, and it may feel like we are dying, but something that was never real cannot die. We simply remove our identification from the mind and realize that only the higher self is real. The higher self remains with us through this life and all of our other lifetimes. Everything else about ourselves is an unreal creation.
Meditation
Every meditation creates mental discipline that roots us in the present moment. Only the present moment is real, but our egoic mind perpetually creates the past and the future. Our mind worries about traumatic events from the past and then projects them into possible futures and worries about them there. Our egoic mind strives to enhance its power and importance by making us worry. Most of our worries exist in the past or the future, and we find peace in the present moment. While living in the present moment, our mind loses its relevance and importance.
Surrender in meditation is extremely important. When we surrender, we align our will with the will of Divine Consciousness. We can repeat the word “surrender” on each exhale (aloud or silently) in formal meditation and throughout the day when we are involved in activities that do not require thought (doing the dishes, yard work, cooking, etc.). Doing this roots the importance of surrender in our subconscious mind.
The last thing that our egoic mind wants to do is surrender. Our mind wants what it wants, and it wants it now. Surrender is a foreign concept.
We do not give up anything of value when we surrender. Long stretches of deep surrender will bring us magical experiences outside of our beliefs and outside of anything that we knew was possible. We would have wanted to have these experiences if we knew that they were possible.
When it comes to meditation, more is usually better. Pushing ourselves into the experience of discomfort produces faster results. When we encounter walls of resistance, it is helpful to meditate for 3 and 4 hours a day until we push through the wall and experience everything that we are resisting. The rewards for doing this are great, and they may include rising kundalini energy that opens doors of perception and new spiritual experiences.
The next step is to integrate one by one our human and nonhuman higher selves. We also need to release all of the trauma from this and other lifetimes. After this happens, beings of light start working with us to prepare us for ascension. When the opportunity for ascension arises, we can choose to stay or leave this life. We are no longer bound to reincarnation, and we have the choice of coming back to this world or not. We may choose to come back into someone else’s body as a walk-in and skip many years of childhood. A walk-in makes an agreement with a person who agrees to give up their body to facilitate the walk-in’s mission.
After ascending, it is possible to walk into other worlds. The possibilities are limitless. Everyone in this world would desire ascension if they knew how wonderful it is. Ascension will never happen if we do not desire it above all else.